how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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