He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
