I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
