...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
