Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
