man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I love you. Go after that dick
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
