The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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