Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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