it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
