dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
