Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
