cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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