TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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