well most of my day revolves around power hour
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
