I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
