I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
