I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
