Don't you send me to vm
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
