It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
