You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
