Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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