So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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