soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize