covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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