my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
