Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
