3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
