After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
