would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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