3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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