Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Be still, my beating vagina.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
