dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
