Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's blow job season.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
