Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she peed on how many people?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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