fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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