And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
