i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
