just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize