We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This baby is an asshole
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
