my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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