i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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