everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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