she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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