The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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