omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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