Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
