this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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