He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
