can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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