Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
