Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
